“Hanno! how far can I climb on without touching the ledge below?!”
“Four meters but not more!”
“Ok I ´ll go for it”
I am standing six meters above my last protection trying to place a hook onto a sloper where I thought could be an edge or a small hole. Unfortunately nothing is there. The whole surface of the rock I can reach with my fingers is blank. With every second, while searching for a cliff placement, my left hand is getting more and more pumped. I am trying to stay focused. A feeling of fear slightly arises. It’s like a wall in front of me obstructing my view. I have to leave this place, this situation, get new cards. I climb higher pushed by confidence that I will find what I am searching for.
Nothing f***! f***! f***! There is no placement, the hole structure of the rock is too smooth.
I try to climb down. One move down, another move down….. it´s no energy left. I am watching my fingers one by one slipping off the small hold. My mind is clear. I have neither feelings of fear nor happiness. I slip into a state of freedom, no decisions to make, no responsibility to take. Now I am the observer.
My fall wasn´t long and I didn´t hit the ledge below. The cliff was still hanging somewhere on the wall because I didn’t have the power to put it back on the gearsling. The cliff was connected to my harness and stopped my fall. I needed some time to realize why I am not falling. I was back in my life in the situation I brought myself into. Hanging on this marginal nothing - but at least hanging!
It´s a phenomenon of our affluent society to risk the own healthiness to intense feeling of life. The need to feel evanescence to stay active lies within the human nature. Sure you can say the situation is not real because I expose myself purposely. I have to agree with this argument. But to be polemic, our industrial and social surrounding is full with artificial responsibility. Is it a comfort of time to stay infront of a red traffic light? You don´t have to fell the decision. Cross or don´t cross? It´s not upon you to decide.
So again the question why?
Because it´s my reality, where I can test my skills and improve them, where I can feel the freedom to decide and take the responsibility over the next move or the gear I place.
The way I get into such situations seems to be a trend, but the influences of it are real and I have the opportunity to solve them out of a deep feeling of trust in what I am doing.
In 2010 and last year I put up two multi-pitch routes at the south face of Rote Wand/Lechquellengebirge/Austria. I am now publishing the topos of “Save Madrischa” and “Pollution” for the chronic of the Rote Wand and to avoid alleged “new” first ascent over already existing climbs. The new routes are no “death- climbs” but for enjoying the climbing you should feel comfortable with the difficulties of the route and some air under the a**.